My Intersex Body: A Day in the Life

About five years ago, I read Jeffrey Eugenides’ Middlesex for the first time. It wasn’t long after I’d discovered that I was intersex. To be clear, I knew about my body since I could form memories, but I didn’t stumble across the word “intersex” until 2018, realizing that I fell under that umbrella.

Middlesex is a great book, no doubt. As an intersex person, I did notice one thing that was missing: the constant and acute awareness of the body. As an intersex person, there’s rarely an hour that goes by that I don’t think about my body, that I’m not reminded that I’m different.

Granted, I think if that part had been in Middlesex, the book would have suffered. It would have felt like the body was all it was about. But still. So, here are 10 ways in which my intersex body asserts itself on my day.

Every day.

Without exception.

1. Sitting to urinate - You see, I have a leak at the base of my urethra. Whenever I pee, a little trickle comes out right there. I can use urinal, sure, but that makes a small wet spot.

2. Check for firmness - Before I had my testicles removed last year, I had to check them every time I showered to see if either felt unusually firm, a sign that my infection was recurring.

3. Limiting soda - Particularly sodas with caramel coloring like Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper. Again, those could have triggered an infection relapse.

4. Going to the bathroom - Beyond having to sit, my man-made urethra means that my stream is fairly erratic. Plus, I get to see just how different I am every time I use the bathroom.

5. Testosterone - Since having my testicles removed, I self-inject testosterone into my belly twice a week. The other five days a week? Well, the little bruises or patches of hairlessness from adhesive bandages are little reminders of this ritual.

6. Penis jokes - Fortunately, my lifestyle and the people I hang out with minimize these, but they’re still never funny and often inadvertently hurtful when I hear them. They’re just weird, punching-down reminders of my differences.

7. Locker rooms - I’ve hated them since I was in junior high school, and I still hate them now. I change VERY quickly and keep my privates…well…private.

8. Scars - Though my abdominal scars from my toddler surgeries have stretched to oblivion, my urethra looks like a giant scar. And there are now scars on my scrota from the double orchiectomy.

9. Ink - Okay, this one’s on purpose. The second tattoo I ever got created a permanent reminder to myself and a signal to others that I’m intersex.

1. Sex - Hoo, boy, could I write about my trials and struggles with sex as an intersex man. But not here. TLDR: it’s a challenge. It’s always been a challenge. Even thinking about sex is a challenge for me.

This list could go on, and that just for me, for one intersex man with my particular intersex variations. That list is probably different for every intersex person.