Intersex Day of Remembrance

Reflecting on the Struggle

November 08, 2023

I am intersex.

If you didn’t know, now you do. What does that mean?

Intersex is an umbrella term for several different conditions that affect someone’s sexual and reproductive biology. For some, these conditions affect their chromosomes or hormones. For someone like me, my conditions were physical in nature. I was born without any genitalia.

I was lucky, however. My doctors did the minimum necessary to make sure that I could urinate and survive. Then, they did a chromosome test. For three days, my name was Baby until the test showed my XY chromosomes. A boy.

I underwent three surgeries when I was 2, 2 1/2, and 3 years old to bring down my testicles, construct a penis, and repair a double hernia. I wouldn’t say I look “normal” down there, but I’m functional. And like most other intersex folks, I’m infertile.

I don’t tell this story to get sympathy, but to educate. On the Intersex Day of Remembrance, the aim is to recognize the struggles that all intersex people face. Many are forced into surgeries before they can form memories, surgeries that render them impotent or force them incorrectly into the sexual binary.

The recent film, Every Body, and Alicia Roth Weigel’s recent memoir, Inverse Cowgirl, tell some stories like these. Across this country and around the world, doctors are still performing these surgeries, making decisions that should be left to the intersex person once they’re old enough to understand and decide. These doctors are committing genital mutilation, often by giving parents incorrect information.

That’s what the Intersex Day of Remembrance is about. It is a day to reflect on the roughly 2% of the population who silently suffer through the after-effects of these surgeries.

The intersex flag is a purple circle on a field of yellow. Why a circle? Because it is perfect and whole just the way it is. Just like intersex people.

“If it can pee, let it be.”

That’s the mantra to fight unnecessary intersex surgeries. Like I said, I was lucky. My doctors understood that in 1980. They made the right decisions and performed surgeries on my toddler body that I needed. Many intersex people are not so lucky.

So please, take a few moments today to remember intersex people. You know some, even if they don’t come out and talk about it. Keep us in your thoughts and do what you can to educate yourself and join our fight.

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