Like a lot of people, I feel like my relationship with the United States is fraught right now. Last night, we watched the FIFA World Cup match where USA beat Bosnia and Herzegovina 2-0. I didn’t know who to cheer for. I was born in the USA. Lived here my whole life. I’ve felt patriotism in my life and proudly cheer for Team USA during the Olympics.

But right now?

Fascism has a choke-hold on our government. All three branches. States keep passing laws attacking transgender people, sweeping up intersex folks in the process. That recent SCOTUS ruling allowing states to keep transgender women out of women’s sports? That’ll affect intersex folks as well. This president keeps pushing the limits of his power, trying to impose his will in ways that are unethical and flat-out un-American. But he keeps doing it anyway, and this version of SCOTUS is backing him up more than opposing him.

We’re fighting back, sure. I do think we’ll break the hold with the midterms.

But now, with July 4 approaching, ringing in 250 years of the United States of America, I find it hard to celebrate.

This isn’t just about right now, though. I read a lot. Perhaps too much. I read deeply about the flawed founding of this nation, about the twisted narratives we cling to and what actually happened.

The Puritans didn’t come to these shores for real religious freedom. They came here to practice THEIR religion and force it on others. No better than the British who were shoving the Church of England down their throats.

Those who landed on our southern shores did so for profit, bringing the Atlantic slave trade with them.

The oft-celebrated “Manifest Destiny” was little more than European genocide of indigenous people for the sake of profit and a misplaced sense of moral superiority.

On and on this list goes, leading me to believe that Trump’s tiny invasion of Venezuela and capture of Maduro was actually the most American thing he’s ever done. It fits right in with the actions of so many past US presidents going back generations.

So, what do my wife and I plan to do on July 4, this celebration of 250 years of America?

I think we’re going to do a marathon of The Lord of the Rings, escaping to Middle Earth and New Zealand for the better part of the day. We’ll try to ignore the fireworks. I’ll probably cook a nice dinner.

And I’ll keep celebrating the release of My Name Was Baby. The book has been in the world for a little over a week at this point, and the response has been wonderful. I’ve had five events so far, all with excellent discussions and wonderful people coming out to talk about the book. I’ve done a couple of podcasts, and I have more interviews and podcasts lined up.

I’ll be out on the East Coast for a week later this month, then I have Seattle and Austin on the books for August. Check my website for more details on all of these events.

However you’re celebrating (or not) this weekend, have a fun and safe weekend.